(2016) Dylan for Drawing I
This piece is from the summer after my best friend dropped me like a sack of rocks and stopped speaking to me altogether. It was still hurting, and everyone in my college art classes was always talking about how they used their art to express themselves. I had A LOT I wanted to express. I felt like I couldn't talk about it with anyone; some of my friends didn't seem to care, while others almost seemed to agree with my friend's actions. I didn't care for that AT ALL, so I finally put all my anger/sadness/hurt down on paper.
When we presented our projects in class, I was so terrified of what everyone would think of my work. It felt like putting my heart up on display, which made me feel horribly vulnerable. But at the same time, that's what I wanted. I just wanted someone to understand how upset I was. My professor said the journal entries in the background first gave him the impression of a lovesick teenager, but by the time he read it all, he understood how real the pain was. Little bit of a mixed critique, but I took it.
It's not my favorite piece because it still holds a lot of emotions that I'd rather not look at too closely, but it did help to get them all out and to have people look at them. Sometimes I think I just need people to see me, to recognize and validate my emotions. I'm not always that great at talking about my feelings, so this was a good alternative.